I Am [______]

Self affirmations in action on the way up 3000 feet of granite. My partner leading about 1/3 up El Capitan, Yosemite Valley.

As we round out January, we’re about 8% through the year. Which is a good time for a mental boost to propel us on our journey. Enter the power of “I am.”

This week I guided my yoga students to craft their own unique affirmation during class. We returned to that affirmation multiple times, building momentum and reinforcing the strength of our intention. Whether you crafted a new year’s resolution, or just believe in continuous growth, start thinking in I AM.

It's the repetition of affirmations that leads to belief. And once that belief becomes a deep conviction, things begin to happen. – Muhammad Ali

I’m not a famous boxer, but reminding myself constantly of the qualities needed to fuel an intention is a mental tool that I’ve found hugely beneficial. It’s helped me up big rocks, transformed relationships in my family and fuels me on a daily basis.

My understanding of affirmations began with a blind spot exposed. Years ago, I reminded someone: “don’t forget your water bottle.” An innocuous enough sentence which, to my surprise, elicited immediate feedback.

“It bothers me when you tell me to ‘not forget.’ Can you tell me to remember my water bottle instead?”

I’ll always remember this simple exchange. Through a subtle language shift, I learned to focus on what we want to do. To be pulled towards a compelling future, instead of pushing away a disappointing outcome or fate.

What are you creating? Who do you want to be?

It may feel silly to come up with your own cheerleading mental strategies. I mean, we’re adults aren’t we? Isn’t getting kudos and positive reinforcement showered on us just for toddlers?

Yet, as adults, I’d argue we need to cheerlead ourselves more than ever.

If you’re a human being, it’s likely you’ve experienced disappointment. Rejection. Set backs. Imposter syndrome.

Our mental hardwiring exhorts us to learn from past experience. This allows us to insert keys into locks without hesitation and facilitates our seamless ability to boil water for a warm cup of coffee.

The downside of this marvelously efficient mental shortcutting is if we don’t pay close attention, we inadvertently create our identities based on the past. As adults, accumulated experience then indicates we’re a certain way.

This may mean “positive things.” We succeed or cultivate a skillset, and now we have characteristics. These might be the ones that make us feel proud or useful. Some of mine are insightful, conscientious, curious, authentic, athletic, and bright.

Or perhaps we’ve experienced events that mean “negative” things” about us. That we’re not cut out for something. That we’ll fail again, because, well, we’ve failed in the past. Some of mine are: not smart enough, not athletic enough, not gritty enough, and relationships are not safe for me. These not-so-helpful mental narratives may drive me to learn and grow, but they certainly aren’t encouraging.

I share my examples to neither brag nor elicit sympathy. Rather, I share for the sake of vulnerability – for us to connect around the reality that our beliefs run our lives.

Luckily for us, although our thoughts may arise on their own and feel out of control (easily observed when we intend to silence the mind in meditation), how we define our beliefs can be a conscious and intentional process.

Time to shift gears into action.

Grab a pen and paper. Set aside 15 minutes just for you. Turn off notifications. Think of it as a well deserved mental treat.

Step one: brainstorm for a few minutes. What qualities do you already see in yourself that make you (and probably others) smile? What qualities do you aspire to?

Perhaps you have a hero in mind who exudes esprit. Compassion. Tenacity. Remember they’re human just like you. Maybe you have an idea of how you want to be or a future that lights you up. Jot down anything that comes to mind.

Step two: Turn your brainstorm into inspiring adjectives or phrases for yourself. No limits on this list, but remove any modifiers like “very” or “extremely.” Be bold. Be compassionate. Be enough.

Star a handful that make you go “hell yeah!”

Add “I AM” to the starred ones. Presto change-o. Affirmation. You are [______].

Step three: Buckle up for the long haul. Unlike what marketing would lead us to believe, true change isn’t fast, easy or free. The reality is our lives go on, day after day. Naturally you’ll need to renew your intentions day after day. Surround yourself with supportive people in your life who see you as those “I AM” statements. Post your I AM’s somewhere visible so you can continuously refresh yourself.

Qualities or attributes are simply intention nurtured over time until they assimilate with you completely. The truth is there’s no “90 days to your greatest self.” From my personal experience, it’s a long process – years long. Could it be any other way? I got here after years and years of conditioning. There are no shortcuts. Only time will re-condition.

If you’ve read this far, and have the true desire for change, you know the outcome of inaction. It may feel daunting to be your own cheerleader, to claim your identity in an “I am” statement. Still, take a step with me towards your desired future. I’m walking along with you, day by day.

If this post inspired you to figure out your “I AMs” I’d love to hear what you created. There’s a good chance you’ll inspire me too. 🙂

Appendix A: My Personal Practice

My affirmations / mental reminders board.

This is for the Curious George monkeys out there who might wonder “how do you use affirmations daily?”

Like I mentioned, it’s best to have affirmations both inside and outside your head. Consider placing yours in a spot you look a lot. I used to have my affirmations in the bathroom mirror… Until I realized I was looking right past them.

Hotels, gyms and event venues capitalize on captive audiences to disseminate information. Why not do the same? Instead of reading about upcoming concerts or workshops, I review my intentions. I may not read the whole thing every time, but it’s an useful structure that helps keep my affirmations, reminders, intentions (and a few funny quotes) top of mind. 🧠

Let’s make 2021 a year to remember: you are [_______].