You Are A Hero
Sigourney Weaver as Ellen Ripley in Alien. Photo by 20th Century Fox Film Corp.
If you’ve watched movies or read a novel, you’ve likely witnessed the Hero’s Journey. Imperator Furiosa in Mad Max: Fury Road. Prince Rama of the Ramayana. Mulan. Dune’s Paul Muad’dib. Ellen Ripley in Alien. Star Wars’ Luke Skywalker.
The archetypal hero narrative permeates across cultures, history and narrative mediums. And for good reason. The Hero’s Journey speaks to the core of what it means to be human. To be challenged, to walk a path of discovery and rise from our own phoenician ashes as we take on new form to complete a mission or calling.
In the story of our lives, we are all heroes. You are a hero.
If you’re feeling some resistance to that claim, I understand.
Counter arguments could include: I didn’t write this specifically to you. I don’t know the particulars of your life. And trust me, when I reflect this claim on myself, I feel my own resistance as well. Often my mental self-talk discounts my abilities, achievements and redirects me from self-acknowledgement to self-sabotage. Regardless of how much I’ve done, or what I’ve accomplished, this voice tells me how much more I have to do in this life.
We are heroes.
We’ve navigated the constricting narrows of our lives and found our way out on the other side. Suffered defeat and tasted the fruits of success. Endured dark nadirs and reveled in radiant apogees. Absorbed wisdom from teachers, mentors and guides. We’ve overcome challenges, fought metaphorical dragons, and integrated the transformational insights that brought us to this moment.
You are a hero. I’ll prove it.
Remember the trusty retort in a playground name calling fight, “it takes one to know one?” Although it may seem child-like, try it on in context of the hero.
Take a moment to reflect on the qualities you love in your heroes or mentors. Bravery? Boldness? Servant leadership? Integrity? Wisdom? Perseverance?
Notice what qualities come to mind and take a pen to paper to transcribe them.
Now turn a mirror on yourself.
I am confident if you give yourself an honest assessment (and quiet your inner critic!) the following will be true:
Past: There are examples in your life where you embodied those exact qualities yourself. Where you channeled your inner hero and acted accordingly.
Present: You’re actively living out these characteristics. If you’re not, you’re likely feeling out of alignment and you feel them calling to you to be awakened.
It takes one to know one. It takes you and your own understanding of those heroic qualities to see them in another. And the qualities you see may not necessarily be identical to what another sees in the same character. You create the super hero.
As I write, I feel my own heroic (and not so heroic) truths coming up.
Devotion – My spiritual practice continues to be a foundational element I return to. It’s not a perfect, but a practice.
Equanimity – I still get emotionally rocked by circumstances or events in my life more than I would like to. In fact just last week, I was experiencing another low period that derailed me from my self-care routine and productive intentions. This week I find myself recommitted. Life can be like that. Success and failure.
Authenticity – Even though it’s not a steady state from which I operate all the time, more than ever before, I feel I am living in a way that is resonant and aligned with my true self. Sometimes it means having the hard conversation that I used to run away from. Sometimes that means confidently wearing a dress in public. At others it means asking for what I need.
Playfulness – Someone once asked me: “have you ever thought about taking life less seriously?” That question shook me… I thought I was lighthearted and easy-going. I have work to do. My inner judge still gets more airtime than I’d like and I can get overly attached to being “productive” and “useful.” This attitude can constrain my overall satisfaction with life and the joy available in each individual moment.
When I look at heroes outside myself, their triumphs and inspirational qualities are what usually come to mind. Of course they are! We want to be like our heroes so we look at the highlight reel! But we must not forget the trials along the way as they became the hero. At one point, Luke Skywalker couldn’t lift the X-wing out of the swamp.
Perhaps the ultimate hero quality is self-acceptance. To look at our foibles and know they do not define us. To dust ourselves off from the pit of despair and re-engage with our challenges when there’s seemingly nothing left in the tank. To have the conviction that we are always the creators of our life story. That we can be the heroes of our story if we choose.
You are a hero. We are heroes. Let’s continue the journey.
We shall not cease from exploration
And the end of all our exploring
Will be to arrive where we started
And know the place for the first time.– T.S. Eliot, Four Quartets